Peter’s Heart-Beads, No. 003 – What leads to a Midlife Crisis?

Hello and a warm welcome to Peter’s Heart-Beads, a series of really simple life hacks, brought to you by Midlife-Chance the support network around midlife crisis.

My name is Peter, and in this Heart-Bead number 3, I’m going to talk a little bit about what leads to a midlife crisis, how we stumble into it, and how our society pushes us towards such crisis,

I’m sending this from the middle of the forest with beautiful sounds of the birds. It’s a wonderful day today.

There is a speaking, saying: All people are born as originals, most die as a copy.
Let that sink in for a moment. All people are born as originals, most die as a copy.

When we were born, we were absolutely perfect. We were perfect human beings. All we needed was food, attention and love. Even though our bodies were little. Our imagination was way beyond limitations, we were just great.

But quickly, we learned that love needs to be earned. We have to behave in a certain way, and receive love in return, receive care in return. So we behave in these ways that we have learned.

Our mom and dad taught us what’s right and wrong, what’s good and bad, what’s successful and unsuccessful and so on and so on.

Then we get to kindergarten or preschool where pedagogues teach us more, and condition us more. Then we go to school, teachers, society, friends, media (very big), employers etc. all they are telling us what to do, how to do.

So over time, we get more and more conditioned in a way that brings us away from our true path, our true core, our very own individual way. The more we get conditioned, the less we are ourselves, the less we are connected to our hearts, to our true self, to our wild heart. Our minds have taken over long ago. That’s how most people lose their path, their own individual true path.

Unfortunately, these conditionings are so strong, and a lot of times we get distracted by success, what people call “success”. A lot of times we are trapped in responsibilities out of that success, which means work, family, house, mortgage and so on and so on.

Dante Alighieri wrote a long time ago:
Midway upon the journey of our life,
I found myself within a forest dark,
for the straightforward pathway has been lost.

He saw that, he experienced it, and that was more than 700 years ago. And it still happens today.

We don’t live our own life, even though we could, but instead we live the parent’s life, teacher’s life, society’s life, media’s live, corporation’s live, just not our own life. We are lost, in a forest dark.

But you cannot copy someone else’s truth, someone else’s past, and expect to find yourself. So, what happens is that in the middle of our life, mostly at the age of 35 – 40 years old, we start to feel a deep longing inside, we start reviewing, looking back on our path, looking deeper at our lives, and we see more and more our own true values in life. Mostly, we realize that we live in the outside, for the outside. But our own true path, our very individual path is in the inside and wants to be lived. It wants to show itself more and more and it comes out, until the pressure gets too much and we realize: Changes have to be made.

The picture I get a lot of times is, that you are climbing a mountain, you go higher and higher. That’s the path to your success and one day you are completely successful, you reached the peak and you look around and you have found a higher perspective and then you look at the path that you came, the path that you took. So halfway up this path, you see a small dot, something is lying at that path, and that’s the real you. That’s the real you that you lost on the way.
That’s your true, authentic self that wants to bel lived.

Another view is: I like this comparison with a bow and arrow. Life pulls you back, pulls the arrow back, the string back. The tension gets more and more, and if we react, rethink, adjust and make changes, we can take this tension off. If we don’t react. The tension gets more and more and there will come a trigger point and the string gets released and the arrow will shoot and it will shoot at yourself.

So, don’t let that arrow shoot! Make the adjustments, make the adjustments when the signs starting to show. Change your life, walk your own personal path as soon as possible, as early as possible.

There’s only one way to live happy and healthy, and that is: Walking your own personal path!

I wish you all the best for that path, finding this path, walking this path. May the spirits bless you on your path.

See you soon.